well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
