So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
COCAINE IS GR8
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize