And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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