She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
