Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
