On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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