you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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