dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
