careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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