are you so shy because you have an std?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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