so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
