Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
