We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
