Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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