It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
