yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
