I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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