so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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