I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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