Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
well you can't waste a boner
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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