I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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