Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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