dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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