Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
