is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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