i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
And then he peed in my hair
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