Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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