Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
