I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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