She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh god it's open bar.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
