I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
