do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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