she was so not down for the gang bang
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize