does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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