accomplished twins. life is a go
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
