cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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