i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize