Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
