We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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