you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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