I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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