just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
