At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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