i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
