Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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