Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize