I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
