for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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