Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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