this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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