well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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