you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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