I wish my penis had an off switch
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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