so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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