if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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