So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
