I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
