Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
high people should be assigned attendants
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
