So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
