butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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